The Message We Give Our Bodies

The water that makes up so much of our bodies is like ocean water. The salt crystals in this water vibrate at ever-changing frequencies. Our hearts are the emotional centers of our bodies, and they put out frequencies that are 10 times the power of the frequencies of our brains.

When we are happy, we vibrate at a higher frequency than when we are angry or sad. Our emotions change the chemical composition of the water in our systems. That’s why happy tears taste different than tears of sadness.

Experiencing physical, emotional and mental stillness harmonizes the vibrational output of the body, heart and mind and we become stronger.

“The message we give our bodies — one of irritation or acceptance — is the message to which our bodies will answer.”

— Deb Shapiro, Your Body Speaks Your Mind

Mala beads - what are they? What do they really represent? 
“All beads are worry beads - from the Pope’s rosary all the way down to those little wrist malas…’ worn by Buddhists and non-Buddhists alike. People of every religious tradition will claim that their beads are for praying - for appealing to a higher power, for collecting the spirit or concentrating the mind - and while this is indisputably true, that is not their primary purpose. Beads are for worry. They answer a human need so basic it actually precedes a religious consciousness - and that is to fret over things…The difference between the Buddhist mala and the various Western-style rosaries is simply that it makes this explicit in the symbolism of its beads.”
“The message of the Buddhist mala is ‘Don’t worry about things; worry about the fact that you are so worried all the time, and address the foot of that.”
Usage
Mantras are often repeated hundreds or even thousands of times. The mala is used so that one can think about the meaning of the mantra as it is chanted rather than thinking about counting the repetitions. One mantra is usually said for every bead, turning the thumb clockwise around each bead, though some traditions or practices may call for counterclockwise or specific finger usage. When arriving at the head bead [the largest bead with the tassel], one turns the mala around and then goes back in the same direction. This makes using the mala easier as the beads will not be so tight on the string when you use them.The 109th bead on a mala is called the sumeru, bindu, stupa, or guru bead. Counting should always begin with a bead next to the sumeru. In the Hindu, Vedic tradition, if more than one mala of repetitions is to be done, one changes directions when reaching the sumeru rather than crossing it. The sumeru thus becomes the static point on the mala.
“The larger…bead at the end of the mala is the equivalent of the crucifix on a Catholic rosary. It is the teacher - and the teaching - we keep coming back to with every cycle we pray.” (Tricycle, Clark Strand; Winter 2006, pg 40):
Why are there 108 beads?There are numerous explanations why there are 108 beads, with the number 108 bearing special religious significance in a number of Hindu and Buddhist traditions.
The answer is complicated, but in brief the origin of 108 is a sacred number related astrologically to the 12 astrological houses, multiplied by the 9 planets in our solar system. Malas can also have 109 beads, 108 to count mantra and the extra Guru Bead (usually slightly larger), which is where the Mala terminates at the tassel. The Guru Bead is added as a reminder of the sacred bond to the teacher or guru. Wrist malas can have 22 or 27 beads.
Materials
A wide variety of materials are used to make mala beads. In Hinduism, Vaishnavas generally use the Japamaala of Tulsi beads. Some Tibetan Buddhist traditions call for the use of bone (animal, most commonly yak) or sometimes human, the bones of past Lamas being the most valuable. Others use wood or seeds from the Bodhi tree or seeds of the Lotus plant. Semi-precious stones such as carnelian and amethyst may be used, as well. The most common and least expensive material is sandalwood. In Buddhist Tantra or Vajrayana, materials and colors of the beads can relate to a specific practice.
All substances have energetic properties. Minerals have certain properties caused by their colors and the naturally occurring component substances from which they are composed. For example, crystal, which is clear quartz, is the same basic element used in silicon computer wafers, and we know what silicon has enormous electrical properties from a scientific, measurable standpoint. Crystal can aid you in amplifying and projecting positive energy. Crystal can also attract negative energy if used improperly. It has been found to be purifying to our subtle bodies. But, minerals do not have mental or sensing consciousness, as do sentient beings like us. Minerals are really neutral materials.
But, simply wearing a Mala all the time does not produce power, as it must be used with thought. Also, how frequently you wear it and on what part of the physical body will produce different effects.
Can wearing Malas ever be harmful?
Yes, a few words of caution are in order here.
The semiprecious stone Malas should not be worn on the wrist or around the neck for days on end. It may interfere with your own electrical system, call “Chi” by the Chinese, “Winds and Channels” by the Tibetans and “Psychic Energy” by the Ancient Wisdom students. There are many names for this, but you must be careful how often you keep it on your body so that your natural currents and nervous system are not constantly interrupted.
Care and Use of Your Mala
Is a Mala sacred? Yes, if you treat is as sacred, especially if used for spiritual practice. As a sacred tool it will build and maintain your energy and last for many years.
The Mala, rosary or prayer beads are not jewelry and should not be considered such. The Mala would be best seen as inseparable from God, Buddha, or the Deity. If one treats the Mala with respect and care, and the magnetism of it will grow proportionately. Having your Mala blessed by a senior disciple, holy person, respected practitioner, priest, lama or Guru is very beneficial.
“Every Buddhist tradition stresses that the beads must be cared for as if they were a precious sutra or a Buddhist robe…considering we use them to recite mantras. Then there is the fact…the mala is meant to be worn when not is use. Thus to use a mala is both to take up a spiritual text and to clothe oneself in the truth of the Buddhist way. (Tricycle, Clark Strand; winter 2006, pg 40.)
How should I use a Mala?
Malas are used by moving it through your fingers beginning at the first bead after the Guru bead. Each time you recite one compete mantra you then cross to the next bead. Once you have gone one round across the Mala and reach the Guru bead you reverse directions. Most people hold the belief that as a sign of respect towards a spiritual teacher, you do NOT cross over the Guru bead. Use your Mala with the intention to bring greater happiness, joy, loving, kindness and serenity into the world. If you do, it will be a source of deep blessings in your life.
When you look at your Mala let your mind be gently reminded keeping a positive state of mind, wishing good to others and opening yourself up to auspicious and blessed states of being. The Mala then is an aid in drawing the mind closer to the deity, the celestial and divine sources from within you and around you. It is a tool to bridge the mind to deity.
Recitation of mantra while holding your mala will benefit a greater number beyond yourself alone. Use as often as you can with whatever time and level of commitment to spiritual practice you now possess. You do not need to hurry when reciting mantra. It is important that you use the sound of your voice which helps purify speech, resonating throughout all the atoms, cells, organs and subtle parts of your bodies. The sound of sacred mantra calms and protects the mind. At the same time, mantra awakens the creative aspect of your being. Using the Mala in this way will purify not only your speech, but mind, emotions and body too.
Do not lay it on the ground or floor. If you drop it on the ground, clean it off, and place it on the crown of your head as you say a prayer of blessing from your native tradition.
Store your Mala in a safe place, preferably a Mala bag. Do not crumple crush it and put in your pants pocket, as this may damage the cording causing it to break prematurely.
The cording or wire used to string the Mala will eventually break with use over time. Even though this is a natural process, we like to think of this as a positive expression of the law of cause and effect, creating good karma. The more you use the Mala to pray and recite mantra the sooner it wears out. However, this is not to suggest one shouldn’t treat it well. When it eventually breaks, this is a constant reminder of the Lord Buddha’s principal teaching on Impermanence…in summary, “all things are subject to dissolution, decay and change.”
The Mala should not be worn while bathing, or allowed to get wet, as this may weaken the cording which many malas are strung with.
It would be wise to remove your Mala before retiring at night or while sleeping, as stress can be exerted on the cording which may cause it to break. Also, the potentially turbulent or negative mental and emotional activity during sleep may affect the mala’s accumulated energy.
Generally, don’t pass it around when you are with others who are not Dharma or spiritual practitioners, as the Mala will lose energy developed during prayer or meditation.
Do not let other people handle it as an object of idle curiosity. Touching someone with your Mala as an act of blessing or healing may be appropriate, if they allow you or ask you to.

Mala beads - what are they? What do they really represent?

“All beads are worry beads - from the Pope’s rosary all the way down to those little wrist malas…’ worn by Buddhists and non-Buddhists alike. People of every religious tradition will claim that their beads are for praying - for appealing to a higher power, for collecting the spirit or concentrating the mind - and while this is indisputably true, that is not their primary purpose. Beads are for worry. They answer a human need so basic it actually precedes a religious consciousness - and that is to fret over things…The difference between the Buddhist mala and the various Western-style rosaries is simply that it makes this explicit in the symbolism of its beads.”

“The message of the Buddhist mala is ‘Don’t worry about things; worry about the fact that you are so worried all the time, and address the foot of that.”

Usage

Mantras are often repeated hundreds or even thousands of times. The mala is used so that one can think about the meaning of the mantra as it is chanted rather than thinking about counting the repetitions. One mantra is usually said for every bead, turning the thumb clockwise around each bead, though some traditions or practices may call for counterclockwise or specific finger usage. When arriving at the head bead [the largest bead with the tassel], one turns the mala around and then goes back in the same direction. This makes using the mala easier as the beads will not be so tight on the string when you use them.

The 109th bead on a mala is called the sumeru, bindu, stupa, or guru bead. Counting should always begin with a bead next to the sumeru. In the Hindu, Vedic tradition, if more than one mala of repetitions is to be done, one changes directions when reaching the sumeru rather than crossing it. The sumeru thus becomes the static point on the mala.

“The larger…bead at the end of the mala is the equivalent of the crucifix on a Catholic rosary. It is the teacher - and the teaching - we keep coming back to with every cycle we pray.” (Tricycle, Clark Strand; Winter 2006, pg 40):


Why are there 108 beads?

There are numerous explanations why there are 108 beads, with the number 108 bearing special religious significance in a number of Hindu and Buddhist traditions.

The answer is complicated, but in brief the origin of 108 is a sacred number related astrologically to the 12 astrological houses, multiplied by the 9 planets in our solar system. Malas can also have 109 beads, 108 to count mantra and the extra Guru Bead (usually slightly larger), which is where the Mala terminates at the tassel. The Guru Bead is added as a reminder of the sacred bond to the teacher or guru. Wrist malas can have 22 or 27 beads.

Materials

A wide variety of materials are used to make mala beads. In Hinduism, Vaishnavas generally use the Japamaala of Tulsi beads. Some Tibetan Buddhist traditions call for the use of bone (animal, most commonly yak) or sometimes human, the bones of past Lamas being the most valuable. Others use wood or seeds from the Bodhi tree or seeds of the Lotus plant. Semi-precious stones such as carnelian and amethyst may be used, as well. The most common and least expensive material is sandalwood. In Buddhist Tantra or Vajrayana, materials and colors of the beads can relate to a specific practice.

All substances have energetic properties. Minerals have certain properties caused by their colors and the naturally occurring component substances from which they are composed. For example, crystal, which is clear quartz, is the same basic element used in silicon computer wafers, and we know what silicon has enormous electrical properties from a scientific, measurable standpoint. Crystal can aid you in amplifying and projecting positive energy. Crystal can also attract negative energy if used improperly. It has been found to be purifying to our subtle bodies. But, minerals do not have mental or sensing consciousness, as do sentient beings like us. Minerals are really neutral materials.

But, simply wearing a Mala all the time does not produce power, as it must be used with thought. Also, how frequently you wear it and on what part of the physical body will produce different effects.

Can wearing Malas ever be harmful?

Yes, a few words of caution are in order here.

The semiprecious stone Malas should not be worn on the wrist or around the neck for days on end. It may interfere with your own electrical system, call “Chi” by the Chinese, “Winds and Channels” by the Tibetans and “Psychic Energy” by the Ancient Wisdom students. There are many names for this, but you must be careful how often you keep it on your body so that your natural currents and nervous system are not constantly interrupted.

Care and Use of Your Mala

Is a Mala sacred? Yes, if you treat is as sacred, especially if used for spiritual practice. As a sacred tool it will build and maintain your energy and last for many years.

The Mala, rosary or prayer beads are not jewelry and should not be considered such. The Mala would be best seen as inseparable from God, Buddha, or the Deity. If one treats the Mala with respect and care, and the magnetism of it will grow proportionately. Having your Mala blessed by a senior disciple, holy person, respected practitioner, priest, lama or Guru is very beneficial.

“Every Buddhist tradition stresses that the beads must be cared for as if they were a precious sutra or a Buddhist robe…considering we use them to recite mantras. Then there is the fact…the mala is meant to be worn when not is use. Thus to use a mala is both to take up a spiritual text and to clothe oneself in the truth of the Buddhist way. (Tricycle, Clark Strand; winter 2006, pg 40.)

How should I use a Mala?

Malas are used by moving it through your fingers beginning at the first bead after the Guru bead. Each time you recite one compete mantra you then cross to the next bead. Once you have gone one round across the Mala and reach the Guru bead you reverse directions. Most people hold the belief that as a sign of respect towards a spiritual teacher, you do NOT cross over the Guru bead. Use your Mala with the intention to bring greater happiness, joy, loving, kindness and serenity into the world. If you do, it will be a source of deep blessings in your life.

When you look at your Mala let your mind be gently reminded keeping a positive state of mind, wishing good to others and opening yourself up to auspicious and blessed states of being. The Mala then is an aid in drawing the mind closer to the deity, the celestial and divine sources from within you and around you. It is a tool to bridge the mind to deity.

Recitation of mantra while holding your mala will benefit a greater number beyond yourself alone. Use as often as you can with whatever time and level of commitment to spiritual practice you now possess. You do not need to hurry when reciting mantra. It is important that you use the sound of your voice which helps purify speech, resonating throughout all the atoms, cells, organs and subtle parts of your bodies. The sound of sacred mantra calms and protects the mind. At the same time, mantra awakens the creative aspect of your being. Using the Mala in this way will purify not only your speech, but mind, emotions and body too.

Do not lay it on the ground or floor. If you drop it on the ground, clean it off, and place it on the crown of your head as you say a prayer of blessing from your native tradition.

Store your Mala in a safe place, preferably a Mala bag. Do not crumple crush it and put in your pants pocket, as this may damage the cording causing it to break prematurely.

The cording or wire used to string the Mala will eventually break with use over time. Even though this is a natural process, we like to think of this as a positive expression of the law of cause and effect, creating good karma. The more you use the Mala to pray and recite mantra the sooner it wears out. However, this is not to suggest one shouldn’t treat it well. When it eventually breaks, this is a constant reminder of the Lord Buddha’s principal teaching on Impermanence…in summary, “all things are subject to dissolution, decay and change.”

The Mala should not be worn while bathing, or allowed to get wet, as this may weaken the cording which many malas are strung with.

It would be wise to remove your Mala before retiring at night or while sleeping, as stress can be exerted on the cording which may cause it to break. Also, the potentially turbulent or negative mental and emotional activity during sleep may affect the mala’s accumulated energy.

Generally, don’t pass it around when you are with others who are not Dharma or spiritual practitioners, as the Mala will lose energy developed during prayer or meditation.

Do not let other people handle it as an object of idle curiosity. Touching someone with your Mala as an act of blessing or healing may be appropriate, if they allow you or ask you to.


“When desirous of a life change, or any kind of a change, it’s wiser to start from a place like:
“I am who I am today, where I am today, because this was my choice and it has served me well. However, it no longer serves me, my choices have changed, and I give thanks for the amazing changes that now sweep  through my amazing life.”
Rather than,
“I don’t know how I got here. I hate this. I must be sabotaging my own progress. I just won’t accept things as they are any more. I’m desperate for a change. By this time next year my life will totally rock!”
OK??
You don’t even have to remember the choices  that led you to the day, but by understanding you made  them, the kingdom, the power, and the glory knowingly  become yours.”
Chic-a-boom, The Universe

“When desirous of a life change, or any kind of a change, it’s wiser to start from a place like:

“I am who I am today, where I am today, because this was my choice and it has served me well. However, it no longer serves me, my choices have changed, and I give thanks for the amazing changes that now sweep through my amazing life.”

Rather than,

“I don’t know how I got here. I hate this. I must be sabotaging my own progress. I just won’t accept things as they are any more. I’m desperate for a change. By this time next year my life will totally rock!”

OK??

You don’t even have to remember the choices that led you to the day, but by understanding you made them, the kingdom, the power, and the glory knowingly become yours.”

Chic-a-boom,
The Universe

A Self-Help Kit for Closed Minds

Here, then, are some ways to get in touch with reality in the fastest and most efficient way, which is to renounce those habits that close your mind.

1. Stop believing that you’re right. Examine the compulsion that forces you to be right all the time.

2. Don’t make every argument us versus them.

3. Be less attached to winning and more attached to the truth.

4. Don’t color every issue with morality. Right and wrong are generally useless when it comes to finding creative solutions.

5. Write down the five fundamental beliefs that guide your life. Now write down the best arguments against those beliefs.

6. When you are the most emotional about any issue, assume that you are blinding yourself. An open mind is calm, centered, flexible, and tolerant of opposing views.

7. When you are thinking of saying an idea that you know came from someone else, let go of it.

8. Most people either automatically agree or automatically disagree. Examine this trait in yourself and give it up.

9. Be aware of how you feel before you speak. Feelings are closer to the truth than words.

10. Walk in someone else’s shoes before you judge them.

via: deepak chopra

also tumblr’d by:

myfengshuilife: dreamsandbones: roberto: kaitlinvalerieryan: zadi:

You practice and deserve acceptance.

Pep Talk:

Everybody has a past.You’ve done things that can’t be taken back and it’s not anybody’s business to scold or criticize you.

The fortuitous, pixie dust sprinkled moment you meet a new friend or lover is preceded by a life long string of decisions and relationships that led the two of you to this point.

Every delightful new person you encounter has undoubtedly made a series of choices (choices you may well find iffy) with little to no regard for the fact that they would one day meet incredible, tender, completely human, understanding you.

It’s nothing personal to you, but it’s highly personal to them and it’s not your job to punish them for what happened before they even knew wonderful you existed.

You can’t undo your past and if some veritable stranger makes you wish you had a time machine, they aren’t treating you fairly.

Today remind yourself:

I practice and deserve acceptance.

created/written by: playnice:

TGIM

Dreading Mondays is a ridiculous way to spend one-seventh of your life, but that’s the weird habit that millions of peopl have fallen into.

Imagine this: Over the next five years, you’ll receive a gift of 260 different Mondays, each one coming into your life fresh and full of promise. What kind of magic and miracles could you create with that kind of time? Why not be a maverick? Why not welcome every Monday with the same anticipation and excitement that most people reserve just for Fridays?

Assignment: How could you put every Monday on a pedestal? What if you designated every Monday as “Mom Day” or “Friend Day” or “Family Day” or “Fun Day” or…?

What might Monday’s possibilities be for you?

?

Mystery of the White Gardenia
Mystery of the White Gardenia-Marsha Arons
Every year on my birthday from the time I turned 12, a white gardenia was delivered to my house in Bethesda, MD. No card or note came with it. Calls to the florist were always in vain - it was a cash purchase. After a while I stopped trying to discover the sender’s identity and just delighted in the beauty and heady perfume of that one magical, perfect white flower nestled in soft pink tissue paper.
But I never stopped imagining who the anonymous giver might be. Some of my happiest moments were spent daydreaming about someone wonderful and exciting but too shy or eccentric to make known his or her identity.
My mother contributed to these imaginings. She’d ask me if there were someone for whom I had done a special kindness who might be showing appreciation. Perhaps the neighbor I’d help when she was unloading a car full of groceries. Or maybe it was the old man across the street whose mail I retrieved during the winter so he wouldn’t have to venture down his icy steps. As a teen-ager, though, I had more fun speculating that it might be a boy I had a crush on or one who had noticed me even though I didn’t know him.
When I was 17, a boy broke my heart. The night he called for the last time, I cried myself to sleep. When I awoke in the morning, there was a message scribbled on my mirror in red lipstick:
“Heartily know, when half-gods go, the gods arrive.” 
I thought about that quotation from Emerson for a long time, and until my heart healed, I left it where my mother had written it. When I finally went to get the glass cleaner, my mother knew everything was all right again.
I don’t remember ever slamming my door in anger at her and shouting, “You just don’t understand!” Because she did understand.
One month before my high school graduation, my father died of a heart attack. My feelings ranged from grief to abandonment, fear and overwhelming anger that my dad was missing some of the most important events in my life. I became completely uninterested in my upcoming graduation, the senior class play and the prom. But my mother, in the midst of her own grief, would not hear of my skipping any of those things.
The day before my father died, my mother and I had gone shopping for a prom dress. We’d found a spectacular one, with yards and yards of dotted Swiss in red, white and blue. It made me feel like Scarlet O’Hara, but it was the wrong size. When my father died, I forgot about the dress.
My mother didn’t.
The day before the prom, I found that dress - in the right size - draped majestically over the living room sofa. It wasn’t just delivered, still in the box. It was presented to me -
beautifully, artistically, lovingly.
I didn’t care if I had a new dress or not. But my mother did.
She wanted her children to feel loved and lovable, creative and imaginative, imbued with a sense that there was magic in the world and beauty even in the face of adversity. In truth, my mother wanted her children to see themselves much like the gardenia - lovely, strong and perfect - with an aura of magic and perhaps a bit of mystery.
My mother died 10 days after I was married.
I was 22.
That was the year the gardenias stopped coming.

Mystery of the White Gardenia

Mystery of the White Gardenia
-Marsha Arons

Every year on my birthday from the time I turned 12, a white gardenia was delivered to my house in Bethesda, MD. No card or note came with it. Calls to the florist were always in vain - it was a cash purchase. After a while I stopped trying to discover the sender’s identity and just delighted in the beauty and heady perfume of that one magical, perfect white flower nestled in soft pink tissue paper.

But I never stopped imagining who the anonymous giver might be. Some of my happiest moments were spent daydreaming about someone wonderful and exciting but too shy or eccentric to make known his or her identity.

My mother contributed to these imaginings. She’d ask me if there were someone for whom I had done a special kindness who might be showing appreciation. Perhaps the neighbor I’d help when she was unloading a car full of groceries. Or maybe it was the old man across the street whose mail I retrieved during the winter so he wouldn’t have to venture down his icy steps. As a teen-ager, though, I had more fun speculating that it might be a boy I had a crush on or one who had noticed me even though I didn’t know him.

When I was 17, a boy broke my heart. The night he called for the last time, I cried myself to sleep. When I awoke in the morning, there was a message scribbled on my mirror in red lipstick:

“Heartily know, when half-gods go, the gods arrive.”

I thought about that quotation from Emerson for a long time, and until my heart healed, I left it where my mother had written it. When I finally went to get the glass cleaner, my mother knew everything was all right again.

I don’t remember ever slamming my door in anger at her and shouting, “You just don’t understand!” Because she did understand.

One month before my high school graduation, my father died of a heart attack. My feelings ranged from grief to abandonment, fear and overwhelming anger that my dad was missing some of the most important events in my life. I became completely uninterested in my upcoming graduation, the senior class play and the prom. But my mother, in the midst of her own grief, would not hear of my skipping any of those things.

The day before my father died, my mother and I had gone shopping for a prom dress. We’d found a spectacular one, with yards and yards of dotted Swiss in red, white and blue. It made me feel like Scarlet O’Hara, but it was the wrong size. When my father died, I forgot about the dress.

My mother didn’t.

The day before the prom, I found that dress - in the right size - draped majestically over the living room sofa. It wasn’t just delivered, still in the box. It was presented to me -

beautifully, artistically, lovingly.

I didn’t care if I had a new dress or not. But my mother did.

She wanted her children to feel loved and lovable, creative and imaginative, imbued with a sense that there was magic in the world and beauty even in the face of adversity. In truth, my mother wanted her children to see themselves much like the gardenia - lovely, strong and perfect - with an aura of magic and perhaps a bit of mystery.

My mother died 10 days after I was married.

I was 22.

That was the year the gardenias stopped coming.

You Just Don’t Have That Kind of Time

“Age has given me what I was looking for my entire life – it gave me me.”
By Anne Lamott

…Left to my own devices, would I trade this for firm thighs, fewer wrinkles, a better memory? On some days.

That’s why it’s such a blessing I’m not left to my own devices. Because the truth is, I have amazing friends and a deep faith in God, to whom I can turn…I’ve learned to pay attention to life, and to listen.

I’d give up all this for a flatter belly? Are you crazy?

I still have terrible moments when I despair about my body. But they are just moments - I used to have YEARS when I believed I would be more beautiful if I jiggled less; if all parts of my body stopped moving when I did.

But I believe two things now that I didn’t at 30.

  1. When we get to heaven, we will discover that the appearance of our butts and skin was 127th on the list of what mattered on this earth.
  2. I know the truth is I am not going to live forever, and this has set me free.


Eleven years ago, when my friend Pammy was dying at the age of 37, we went shopping at Macy’s. She was in a wheelchair, with a wig and THREE WEEKS to live.

I tried on a short dress and came out to model it for Pammy. I asked if she thought it made me look big in the thighs, and she said, so kindly,

“Annie? You just don’t have that kind of time.”

I live by this story.

Much of the stuff I used to worry about has subsided. What other people think of me and of how I am living my life. I give these things a big shrug. Mostly….or at least, eventually.

It’s a huge relief.

I became more successful in my mid-40s, but this pales compared to the other gifts of this decade:


I don’t think that if I live to be 80 I’ll wish I’d spent more hours in the gym or kept my house a lot cleaner. I think I’m going to wish I had
swum more unashamedly,
made more mistakes,
spaced out more,
rested.

On the day I die, I want to have dessert.

So this informs how I live now.

I have survived so much loss, as all of us have by our 40s-my parents, dear friends, my pets. Rubble is the ground on which our deepest friendships are built.

If you haven’t already, you will lose someone you can’t live without, and your heart will be badly broken and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of a beloved person.

But this is also the good news.

They live forever, in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. And you come through. It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly: it still hurts when the weather is cold, but you learn to dance with the limp.

You dance to the absurdities of life, you dance to the minuet of friendships.

I danced alone for a couple of years, and came to believe I might not ever have a passionate romantic relationship – might end up alone! I’d been so terrified of this my whole life. But I’d rather never be in a couple or never get laid again than to be in a toxic relationship. I spent a few years celibate.

It was lovely, and it was sometimes lonely.

I had surrendered; I’d run out of bullets.

But I learned to be the person I wished I’d meet…at which point I found a kind, artistic, handsome man. We have been together 20 months now. When we get out of bed, we hold our lower backs…and we smile. It’s like that old saying goes,

“It’s not that I think less of myself, but that I think of myself less often.”

Trees…


For me, trees have always been the most penetrating preachers. I revere them when they live in tribes and families, in forests and groves. And even more I revere them when they stand alone. They are like lonely persons. Not like hermits who have stolen away out of some weakness, but like great, solitary men, like Beethoven and Nietzsche.

In their highest boughs the world rustles, their roots rest in infinity; but they do not lose themselves there, they struggle with all the force of their lives for one thing only: to fulfil themselves according to their own laws, to build up their own form, to represent themselves. Nothing is holier, nothing is more exemplary than a beautiful, strong tree.

When a tree is cut down and reveals its naked death-wound to the sun, one can read its whole history in the luminous, inscribed disk of its trunk: in the rings of its years, its scars, all the struggle, all the suffering, all the sickness, all the happiness and prosperity stand truly written, the narrow years and the luxurious years, the attacks withstood, the storms endured. And every young farmboy knows that the hardest and noblest wood has the narrowest rings, that high on the mountains and in continuing danger the most indestructible, the strongest, the ideal trees grow.

Trees are sanctuaries.
Whoever knows how to speak to them, whoever knows how to listen to them, can learn the truth. They do not preach learning and precepts, they preach, undeterred by particulars, the ancient law of life.

A tree says:

“A kernel is hidden in me, a spark, a thought, I am life from eternal life. The attempt and the risk that the eternal mother took with me is unique, unique the form and veins of my skin, unique the smallest play of leaves in my branches and the smallest scar on my bark. I was made to form and reveal the eternal in my smallest special detail.”


A tree says:

“My strength is trust. I know nothing about my fathers, I know nothing about the thousand children that every year spring out of me. I live out the secret of my seed to the very end, and I care for nothing else. I trust that God is in me. I trust that my labor is holy. Out of this trust I live.”


When we are stricken and cannot bear our lives any longer, then a tree has something to say to us:

“Be still! Be still! Look at me! Life is not easy, life is not difficult. Those are childish thoughts. Let God speak within you, and your thoughts will grow silent. You are anxious because your path leads away from mother and home. But every step and every day lead you back again to the mother. Home is neither here nor there. Home is within you, or home is nowhere at all.


A longing to wander tears my heart when I hear trees rustling in the wind at evening. If one listens to them silently for a long time, this longing reveals its kernel, its meaning. It is not so much a matter of escaping from one’s suffering, though it may seem to be so. It is a longing for home, for a memory of the mother, for new metaphors for life. It leads home. Every path leads homeward, every step is birth, every step is death, every grave is mother. So the tree rustles in the evening, when we stand uneasy before our own childish thoughts.

Trees have long thoughts, long-breathing and restful, just as they have longer lives than ours. They are wiser than we are, as long as we do not listen to them. But when we have learned how to listen to trees, then the brevity and the quickness and the childlike hastiness of our thoughts achieve an incomparable joy. Whoever has learned how to listen to trees no longer wants to be a tree. He wants to be nothing except what he is. That is home. That is happiness.


— Hermann Hesse

(Thanks for tumblr’g - she-alone)

10 Principles to the Zen of Attraction


  1. Promise Nothing
    Just do what you most enjoy doing.
    Hidden benefit: You will always over-deliver.
  2. Offer Nothing
    Just share what you have with those who express an interest in it.
    Hidden benefit: Takes the pressure off of wanting other people to see you as valuable or important.
  3. Expect Nothing
    Just enjoy what you already have. It’s plenty.
    Hidden benefit: You will realize how complete your life is already.
  4. Need Nothing
    Just build up your reserves and your needs will disappear.
    Hidden benefit: You boundaries will be extended and filled with space.
  5. Create Nothing
    Just respond well to what comes to you.
    Hidden benefit: Openness.
  6. Hype Nothing
    Just let quality sell by itself.
    Hidden benefit: Trustability.
  7. Plan Nothing
    Just take the path of least resistance.
    Hidden benefit: Achievement will become effortless.
  8. Learn Nothing
    Just let your body absorb it all on your behalf.
    Hidden benefit: You will become more receptive to what you need to know in the moment.
  9. Become No One
    Just be more of yourself.
    Hidden benefit: Authenticity.
  10. Change Nothing
    Just tell the truth and things will change by themselves.
    Hidden benefit: Acceptance.
wideeyedhippiechild: bebelestrange: matiasjajaja:pancho: alanajoy